Divorce is never easy, and the process is even more stressful and important when there are children involved.
Communication with your former spouse will likely be a key component of a successful shared parenting plan to help your children feel stable and secure and maintain close relationships with both of their parents.
Parents who are working toward a successful shared parenting plan after divorce should provide their children with practical and concrete support to help them transition through this difficult time.
What is Shared Parenting?
Shared parenting is commonly referred to as co-parenting. It is when both parents play an active role in their children’s lives to ensure that their needs are met and that they can retain close relationships with both of their parents. Most Florida judges order shared parental responsibility, which means both parents have equal input in the child’s live, regardless of the number of overnights spent at a parent’s home.
The relationship between the parents can strongly influence their children’s mental and emotional well-being. In fact, there are several benefits for children when experience a cooperative and healthy shared parenting relationship, such as:
- Feeling confident and secure, which drastically improves their ability to adjust
- Having consistency from both parents
- Understanding how to effectively and peacefully problem solve, as shown by their parents
3 Shared Parenting Tips After a Divorce
Though timesharing and shared parental responsibility and the necessary communication with an ex-spouse may feel exhausting and stressful, it is important to find the right balance in the best interest of the children.
Every parent and family is unique, which is why there is no magic formula for the perfect shared parenting plan. However, here are a few tips to best help each parent navigate this challenging time.
Tip #1: Set aside your hurt and anger
There are several emotions (hurt, anger, resentment, etc.) that spouses often feel throughout their divorce. However, it is important for those feelings to take a back seat when it comes to shared parenting and to put your kids’ emotional well-being first.
Get your feelings out somewhere else and stay focused on your kids. This will help each ex-spouse keep their feelings of hurt and anger on the back burner. Never “bad mouth” the other parent to your child. You are talking about their father or mother!
Tip #2: Improve communication with your shared parent
Your marriage may have ended, but your roles as parents did not. Respectful and consistent communication is highly beneficial for shared parenting even though it may seem impossible at times. Try to avoid bringing up the past or allowing your feelings to overshadow your communication.
Making your child the focal point and primary purpose of any discussion you have with your ex-partner can help. Here are a few additional tips for effectively communicating with your co-parent:
- Set a business-like tone
- Make requests and calm statements, not demands or ultimatums
- Listen to each other
Tip #3: Fair is not necessarily equal
It is common to assume that equal one-on-one time is the fair standard when it comes to shared parenting. However, that is not how it may pan out for every family. Every minute you get with your child is valuable and precious, especially because you now have to split time.
One co-parent may have scheduled extra-curricular activities during the other’s time, which can be frustrating. However, that may not have been their intent. It is important to remember that what is best for your child is not always what is best for you. Your co-parent may participate in activities that happen to cut into your time with your children, which may mean you spend less one-on-one time with them.
Helping You Create a Shared Parenting Plan
Creating a shared parenting plan can be an emotionally and mentally difficult process. An attorney who understands family law can help create a shared parenting plan that works best for all parties involved. We can help you with the required “parenting plan” form, which goes into a lot of details about how and when the child moves between each parent’s home.
At Apfelbaum Law, our team of attorneys provide a wide variety of legal services. Whether you’re in need of a Florida divorce or family law attorney or need assistance in other areas of the law, we can help you. Contact us today to learn how.
